I lost my temper a while ago! My life is really hard to live and I just want to speak out. I feel like I’m suppressing my views because I don’t want others to hate me. What I’ve learned today is that we should speak our minds out. Whenever we keep what we have to say it cultivates anger to the point wherein we want to break out. A while ago I hit the boiling point. I was too pressured with all the problems I’m experiencing, with the hardship of studying, with a lot of other things that are too personal (which I don’t want to discuss here). What added insult to injury is the fact that some people in the debate society are making things worse. Instead of helping me out they are trying to make things worse. I’m always trying to be professional but I can no longer do so a while ago. I’ll not go on to details but I was devastated. I was confounded with how people would act immaturely. They seem to lose respect for other people. If they can’t respect themselves then they should respect other people. It’s the most basic value and it’s a shame how people could just forget about it. I’m not saying that I’m the patron saint of respect but I think we should not go so low with regard to bashing other people’s right to be respected. I always believe that men are more intelligent than monkeys. I just find it extremely laughable that we are intelligent but we are not sensitive enough to feel the way others do. We are not living alone! We need to coexist. I admit that I’m not the epitome of respect but from now on I promise myself to strive to respect other people. I just find it hard to forgive these people. I’m just praying that God could give me all the courage I need to forgive them. Come to think of it, hating people doesn’t benefit anyone. Hating a person could hurt me more than it could hurt that person. It’s like trying to poison somebody by drinking the poison yourself. We often think that “hate” is a weapon we could use to destroy somebody but what we failed to see here is that we are hurting ourselves more than we hurt the person we hate. It’s a burden to carry because it causes pain to you more than anything else. I’m really trying my best to forgive but it’s going to be hard. I feel that I should talk to these people tomorrow. I’m not using my blog as a weapon. I feel that there is a need for me to voice out my feelings. I’ve kept them for so long and I just need to explode and blogging them out is really helping me to unload. It’s a therapy! Forgive me if I sound so preachy it’s just that I’ve reached the lowest point of depression. I just don’t know how to handle it. We will see how everything goes tomorrow.
