It’s been a tough but fun week. I was really into catching up with the lessons I’ve missed. So far, I’m doing great it’s just pretty much tiring though. Ever heard of the fourth year syndrome? I heard this term from Dino de Leon. By the way, let’s talk about the nature of the fourth year syndrome. It’s a psychosomatic disease (one that is just invented so don’t freak out!) wherein you don’t feel like studying or doing anything anymore because you’re already 4th year. I get a sinking feeling that I’m already experiencing the dreaded 4th year syndrome. I find it hard to find my drive for studying. Anyway, enough of the 4th year syndrome let’s talk about something interesting. I’ve been hurt so many times before because of falling for the wrong person. I used to be this person longing to have someone in my life. At the end of the day, I’ve realized that it’s so much easier to be alone and free. The thing is I’m young and there is still a lot of time for love in the future. Right now, I should just enjoy life and live it as if it was my last. Am I traumatized by all the heartaches I’ve experienced? As of the moment, I really don’t know. I even question myself if it was really love. I feel that it was more of a deep infatuation. Never the less, I’ve learned how to cry just because I’ve learned that if it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be. My belief for destiny is now becoming stronger. Come to think of it, all of the things that happened to me happened for a reason. Now that I’ve pondered on it, my past feels like the perfect missing puzzle piece to the formation of something great. If there was a minor change that happened in my past then everything that I’m experiencing now could have been massively different. I wouldn’t like that to happen because I love my life the way it is. It all leads down to one question that I couldn’t answer. Why am I here on earth? Is it to learn the lessons of life? So what if I learn it? Sometimes the simplest questions are the hardest to answer. Sorry if this entry has become a super reflection entry. I’m just bombarded with a lot of deep thoughts and I just wanna spill the beans.
On a lighter note, I’m becoming close to my crush. Of course I’m admiring her without her even knowing it. I’m not a stalker! It’s just that I don’t want her to know because right now our friendship is really in good shape. I have no intentions of destroying just about that. We’re completely different people but we totally jive. I’m the goal oriented serious type on the other hand she’s the carefree clown. That’s what I like about her we balance each other. I’m teaching her how to focus and she’s teaching me how to have fun. Now I believe that opposites attract. I hope she doesn’t read my blog… God it’s so obvious! I have no plans of saying that I’m starting to like her because I don’t want to lose this friendship. It happened to me so many times already and I don’t want to experience it again. Then again, what if she likes me? If I don’t say what I feel then it’s a total waste. What if she’s already with someone’s arms when I have the courage to tell her how I feel? I don’t want to rush myself. I just want to enjoy the feeling as of now.
